As I recuperate from last night’s madness, I have had a lot of time to my thoughts and myself. Sometimes that’s good and other days, well not so much. I don’t know if this has been a good thinking day for me or not. I just started getting sad, but that might be because the weather is almost freezing.
When I woke up today, I could still feel the adrenaline in my system from last night and knew that that was not a good thing so back under the covers to hide from the world. What is it about being under the covers? It’s a feeling of safety. That even though everything is going wrong in the world now that you are under your blankets and cuddling with yourself you have a sensation of safety come over you. So as I drank my orange juice I thought that the best place for me right at the moment was safety.
As I woke up with the sun shinning, I got really excited! Sun here, in Amiens, is a rare breed of warmth. So when you see sun, you run outside to play… even if you have a pile of homework on your desk, such as I do. I jumped out of bed and hit the showers where I discovered two new bruises and a pretty bad cut. No wonder my knee had been hurting!
I made some lunch for myself, chicken cordon bleu with pasta with pesto sauce. Delicious, exactly what I needed. As soon as I cleaned up and finished getting ready I went to the park. It’s funny how appearances lie to one. My window this afternoon fooled me into thinking that the weather would be wondrous. Nope. It was a chilly autumn day. With the cold wind biting at my nose and the delightful sun kissing my face I walked around the beautiful park. As I listened to Ingrid Michaelson I started thinking…
[one] I miss not being with the people that are closest to me.
[two] I miss the Oklahoma weather, who knew I would ever say that?
[three] I miss being fully in control of my life. As much as I love France and everything that that word “France” entails. I feel like I have no control over anything, it all happens the French way. So here I am, a person that thought they were once wise seeing their life’s pieces fall into shambles.
Well, that is enough for one day. But I shall leave a video::